{"id":259,"date":"2021-11-27T07:13:40","date_gmt":"2021-11-27T06:13:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/?p=259"},"modified":"2022-09-25T07:22:47","modified_gmt":"2022-09-25T05:22:47","slug":"16-iliski-bagimliligini-sevgi-veya-ask-zannetme-sanrisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/2021\/11\/27\/16-iliski-bagimliligini-sevgi-veya-ask-zannetme-sanrisi\/","title":{"rendered":"16. \u0130li\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sevgi veya a\u015fk zannetme sanr\u0131s\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bu fenomenle ortal\u0131k ate\u015fte har\u0131l har\u0131l kaynayan kazan gibi kaynamakta. Sevgi ne demek bunu hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck m\u00fc \u015f\u00f6yle derinden bir derine? \u00d6nce sevginin ne olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamal\u0131y\u0131z ki onu bir yerlere de oturtabilelim, \u00f6yle de\u011fil mi? Bir\u00e7ok yerde denk gelmi\u015ftim, sevgiyi herkes kendine g\u00f6re yorumlamal\u0131\/yorumlayabilir diye. \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden de biz, birisi bizi yemledi\u011fi zaman (manip\u00fclasyona u\u011fratmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 vakit) bunu bir sevgi g\u00f6sterisi zannediyoruz hemen. Yemleme\/tavlama\/Hoovering bunlar narsistlerin kurban\u0131n\u0131 av\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 en en yayg\u0131n mekanizmalar\u0131ndan birisidir.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Tabii ki yemlenme edepsizli\u011fini anlayabilmemiz i\u00e7in evvela ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamal\u0131y\u0131z. \u0130li\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 hayat\u0131m\u0131zdaki bulunan bir nesne veya etrafm\u0131zdaki bulunan insanlardan olu\u015fur. Ve biz o nesneyi\/o insan\u0131 herg\u00fcn ve heran akl\u0131m\u0131zdan say\u0131s\u0131zca defa ge\u00e7iriyorsak ve o \u00b4bir\u015fey olmadan hayatta ya\u015fayamam!‘ diyorsak e\u011fer bizde o bir\u015feye kar\u015f\u0131 ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 mevcut demektir. \u00c7ok elzemdir ki her\u015feyden – ama her\u015feyden! – vazge\u00e7ilebilir e\u011fer ki hayat\u0131n \u015fartlar\u0131 ve<\/span> mekanlar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015firse<\/span>. Demek ki – herhangi bir \u015fey bizim vazge\u00e7ilmezimiz olmay\u0131 ba\u015fard\u0131\u011f\u0131 an biz ona kar\u015f\u0131 ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7erisindeyiz: Ona duydu\u011fumuz mecburiyet bizim o bir\u015feyle olu\u015fmu\u015f olan ili\u015fkimizdir: Ona kar\u015f\u0131 olan ileti\u015fimimizdir ve dahi ona y\u00fckledi\u011fimiz alg\u0131d\u0131r..<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Burada akl\u0131ma bir di\u011fer konu geldi: Ben y\u0131llar \u00f6nce bulunmu\u015f oldu\u011fum\/i\u00e7ine do\u011fmu\u015f oldu\u011fum \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc hayat \u015fartlar\u0131 i\u00e7erisindeyken kendime bir soru sormaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m:\u00b4E\u011fer ki ben son derece cahil, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 despot ve \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc aile ortam\u0131 olan bir hayat \u015fart\u0131na tabi tutulmu\u015fsam, peki o halde iyi\/huzurlu bir aile nas\u0131l olunur?! \u0130yi ve sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir aile ortam\u0131 nas\u0131l olur ve nas\u0131l olu\u015fturulur?‘ \u0130\u015fte bu soruyu kendime sorduktan sonra zaten ben o tabiri caizse ate\u015fte har\u0131l har\u0131l kaynamakta olan tencereden g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc\/zihnimi alarak ba\u015fka bir y\u00f6ne alg\u0131m\u0131 y\u00f6nlendirmeyi ba\u015farabildim Allah’\u0131n izin vermesiyle birlikte. <\/span><\/p>\n\n

O vakit ve ancak o vakit anlayabildim, benim tan\u0131m\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fum o \u00e7ok i\u011fren\u00e7 aile hayat\u0131 \u015fartlar\u0131n\u0131n – temelinde – de\u011fi\u015fken\/de\u011fi\u015ftirilebilir olabileceklerine. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc benim i\u00e7imdeki ses bir ailenin kendi kendisine se\u00e7imler yaparak, be\u011fendi\u011fi\/dahada memnun kalabilece\u011fi ortamlar\u0131 yaratabilme potansiyeline sahip olduklar\u0131n\u0131 da b\u00f6ylece ilk kez kavram\u0131\u015f oldum. Bu beni o d\u00f6nemler o kadar \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki!: Benim iyiyi k\u00f6t\u00fcy\u00fc\/adaleti\/adaletsizli\u011fi bir se\u00e7me hakk\u0131m mevcuttu! Herhangi bir ortamda be\u011fenmedi\u011fim, daha do\u011frusu ruhumu zedeleyen bir ortam\u0131 arkamda b\u0131rakarak ba\u015fka ortamlar\u0131 kurabilece\u011fimi anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m vakitten itibaren de o i\u00e7ine y\u0131llarca kilitli tutulmu\u015f oldu\u011fum travma f\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n da ilk kez kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 aralayabildim, i\u00e7eriye \u0131\u015f\u0131k do\u011fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ve \u00e7ok daha sonra anlayacakt\u0131m ki o ruhumun \u00e7ok\u00e7a zede ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6nemler ben tamamen bir ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde yeti\u015ftirilmi\u015f oldu\u011fumu. O cahil ve sefil yap\u0131 kendisini bana kar\u015f\u0131 aile olarak tan\u0131t\u0131p, kendi \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131 (kendi davran\u0131\u015f \u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fclerini beslemek ama\u00e7l\u0131) do\u011frultusunda bir sistem kurmu\u015ftu ve o sistem tamamen bir \u00e7\u0131kar ili\u015fkisi ve ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 zincirler yap\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131.
<\/span><\/p>\n\n

\u0130\u00e7ine do\u011fdu\u011fumuz ailede e\u011fer \u015fizofreni, narsizm\/psikopatl\u0131k\/sosyopatl\u0131k\/depresyon vs. bir hastal\u0131k t\u00fcr\u00fc hakimse, bil ki o aileye gelen yeni nesiller de o iltihaplanm\u0131\u015f – ak\u0131 kara karay\u0131 da ak g\u00f6ren – zihnin getirisi ile yeti\u015ftirilir ve b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcl\u00fcr.<\/span> Halen kalbinin bir taraflar\u0131nda – az\u0131c\u0131k da dahi olsa – i\u00e7teki sezgilerini veya sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinin baz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, o hastal\u0131kl\u0131 olanlardan ay\u0131rt edebiliyorsan, anla ki Allah seni o bulundu\u011fun cehennem ate\u015finden korumu\u015ftur ve seni her\u015feye ra\u011fmen, o y\u00fcksek ve sonsuz ha\u015fmetli g\u00fcc\u00fcyle sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 tutmu\u015ftur. O an bil ki sen vazifelisin o konuda bir misyonun var ve sen onu d\u00fcnyaya duyurmakla m\u00fckellefsin.
<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Ger\u00e7ekten sevildi\u011fini anlayabilece\u011fin t\u00fcyolar: Kay\u0131ts\u0131z \u015farts\u0131z seviliyorsan e\u011fer,
<\/span><\/p>\n

sevdi\u011fin birisi taraf\u0131ndan kendini oldu\u011fun gibi kabullenilmi\u015flik hissetti\u011finden dolay\u0131 ona g\u00fcven duyman demektir; <\/span><\/p>\n

bil ki sana kar\u015f\u0131 \u015fefkatli davran\u0131l\u0131r ve sana kar\u015f\u0131 tatl\u0131 bir sayg\u0131 g\u00f6sterilir ve sana h\u00fcrmet edilir; <\/span><\/p>\n

sana kar\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7i d\u0131\u015f\u0131 bir olarak davran\u0131l\u0131r ve dolay\u0131s\u0131yla da iki y\u00fczl\u00fcl\u00fck denen mekanizma o ili\u015fkide hakim de\u011fildir; <\/span><\/p>\n

kar\u015f\u0131ndaki ki\u015fi senin bir\u00e7ok i\u00e7 hallerini anlar ve bunu da sana hissettirir; <\/span><\/p>\n

senin i\u00e7in ve aile i\u00e7erisi sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 geli\u015fim i\u00e7in, o ailede hangi yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken i\u015fler varsa, fertler kendiliklerinden bunu bilirler ve hemen o halledilmesi gereken o i\u015fi hallederler, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla senin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc hafifletirler. Zaten aile olmak demek bir anlamda da aile fertlerinin \u00fczerlerine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olan i\u015fleri kendiliklerinden – ak\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 kullanarak – icra etmeleri demektir; <\/span><\/p>\n

bil ki o ailenin huzurunu, hem ruhsal e\u011fitimini hemde okulsal e\u011fitiminin yollar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7mak ve y\u00f6nlendirmek demektir; aile s\u00fcrekli bir ki\u015fisel geli\u015fim i\u00e7erisinde bulunur; <\/span><\/p>\n

fark edersin ki sana \u00f6nem veren ki\u015filer Allah’a iman etmi\u015f ki\u015filerdir ve ayn\u0131 zamanda da adaletsizlik i\u015flemenin her t\u00fcrl\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015flemekten \u00e7ekinen kimselerdir.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Bunlar sadece birka\u00e7 tane \u00f6rnek \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hakiki sevginin ve onun anlat\u0131m\u0131nda s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131 veya bir hudutu yoktur. Sevgi denen kutsal\u0131n bende bir cetveli var o da \u015fu ki ruha ger\u00e7ekten iyi gelen ve dahi adalet dairesine tamamen uygun olan her ne varsa, o sevgidir veya sevginin bir uzant\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r. Ve e\u011fer sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir kalbe sahipsen, hemen anlars\u0131n neyin sevgi olup neyin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kalbin\/sezgilerin rehberindir.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Sevginin oldu\u011fu yerde ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 geli\u015femez, bar\u0131namaz ve dahi ya\u015fayamaz.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

\u0130li\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir de karde\u015fleri \u015fu aleme hakim!: Her t\u00fcr madde ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, sigara ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, alkol ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, yeme i\u00e7me ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, insan ruhuna ayk\u0131r\u0131 olan mesleklere ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ve i\u015f kolikli\u011fi, k\u00f6t\u00fc aklak yap\u0131s\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, m\u00fckemmeliyet\u00e7ilik ve daha say\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 dahi bilmedi\u011fim bir\u00e7ok ba\u015fka \u00e7e\u015fit ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar.
<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Sevgi veya a\u015fk esasen bizleri Allah’a do\u011fru, Allah’\u0131 sevmeye do\u011fru yol almay\u0131 ama\u00e7lam\u0131\u015f olan bir pusula \u00e7e\u015fitidir, insano\u011flu ise bunu insan sevgisiyle kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaktad\u0131r. Elbette insanlar\u0131 sevmek elzemdir ama dahada elzemi Allah i\u00e7in beslenilmesi gereken sevginin yan\u0131na insana kar\u015f\u0131 olan sevginin asla ve kat’a rekabet k\u0131l\u0131nmamas\u0131d\u0131r. Biz insan\u0131 sevelim derken, Allah’a kar\u015f\u0131 duyulmas\u0131 gereken sevgiyi ikinci plana ittik.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n

\u0130nsanlar bir \u015feyi anlamad\u0131klar\u0131 anda onu yanl\u0131\u015f anlamaya ba\u015flarlar. Yanl\u0131\u015f anlamalar\u0131 cehaletlerini gizleme y\u00f6ntemleridir. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Osho<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n

25.09.22<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bu fenomenle ortal\u0131k ate\u015fte har\u0131l har\u0131l kaynayan kazan gibi kaynamakta. Sevgi ne demek bunu hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck m\u00fc \u015f\u00f6yle derinden bir derine? \u00d6nce sevginin ne olup …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3519,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narsizm-olusum-temelinde-yatanlar-ve-beraberinde-getirdigi-hastaliklar-i"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280.jpg",1280,720,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-768x720.jpg",768,720,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-1024x720.jpg",1024,720,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280.jpg",1280,720,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280.jpg",1280,720,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-533x300.jpg",533,300,true],"bravada-featured":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-583x300.jpg",583,300,true],"bravada-featured-lp":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-620x300.jpg",620,300,true],"bravada-featured-half":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-800x300.jpg",800,300,true],"bravada-featured-third":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-512x300.jpg",512,300,true],"bravada-lpbox-1":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-640x300.jpg",640,300,true],"bravada-lpbox-2":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-413x300.jpg",413,300,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-600x338.jpg",600,338,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/abstract-gf69114cc2_1280-100x100.jpg",100,100,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"elmas","author_link":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/author\/elmas2\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Bu fenomenle ortal\u0131k ate\u015fte har\u0131l har\u0131l kaynayan kazan gibi kaynamakta. Sevgi ne demek bunu hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck m\u00fc \u015f\u00f6yle derinden bir derine? \u00d6nce sevginin ne olup …","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=259"}],"version-history":[{"count":69,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3618,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions\/3618"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3519"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}