{"id":329,"date":"2021-11-28T05:27:03","date_gmt":"2021-11-28T04:27:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/?p=329"},"modified":"2022-08-20T10:36:06","modified_gmt":"2022-08-20T08:36:06","slug":"30-narsizm-saglikli-bir-kisiselligin-oenue-tikanmis-olan-bir-tuer-ruhsal-savunma-mekanizmasidir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/2021\/11\/28\/30-narsizm-saglikli-bir-kisiselligin-oenue-tikanmis-olan-bir-tuer-ruhsal-savunma-mekanizmasidir\/","title":{"rendered":"30. Narsizm, sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ki\u015fiselli\u011fin \u00f6n\u00fc t\u0131kanm\u0131\u015f olan bir t\u00fcr ruhsal savunma mekanizmas\u0131d\u0131r"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ki\u015fi ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015far ve zanneder ki “ben bu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m toplum taraf\u0131ndan seviliyorum, benimseniyorum“ oysaki e\u011fer ki bir narsistik sistemin i\u00e7ine do\u011fduysan, narsist sevgi nedir asla bilmez ve de onu tan\u0131maz. Narsist ancak t\u00fcrl\u00fc t\u00fcrl\u00fc ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar do\u011frultusunda ya\u015far. Onun tek derdi i\u00e7indeki o durmadan etrafa f\u0131\u015fk\u0131ran ve tamamen kendi kontrol\u00fc d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda bulunan ahlaksal sisteminin yan getirilerini doyurmak ve haz almak ve dahi kendisini b\u00f6ylelikle herkese kan\u0131tlamak.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Sadece madde ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya da yeme i\u00e7me ya da \u00e7ok televizyon seyretme ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yokya bu alemde, esasen ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131 bolca mevcut. Bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k t\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131nda yatan sebeplerden birisi ise, insanlar nas\u0131l sevilir, bir insana nas\u0131l k\u0131ymet verilir, bir insan\u0131n anla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131 ona nas\u0131l hissettirilir gibi derin hislerin ki\u015fide tamamen eksikli\u011fidir. \u0130li\u015fkilerin nas\u0131l ya\u015fanmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini bilmeyen bir topluluktan ne beklersin ki? Kendi \u00f6z fikri olmayan bir kimse ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n firkirlerini kendi fikirleriymi\u015f gibi benimser durur. Onun \u00fcretkenli\u011fi fel\u00e7 olmu\u015ftur art\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Narsizm denen illetin bir temel sebebi de \u015fu ki bu hastal\u0131k bir ili\u015fki ve anabaya sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ba\u011flanamam\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n getirdi\u011fi bir bozukluktur. Aileye yeni te\u015frif etmi\u015f olan bir bireyin sevgiyle ve onaylanm\u0131\u015f olarak kar\u015f\u0131lanmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi halde itilip kak\u0131lmas\u0131, birisinin eksikli\u011fini gidermesi i\u00e7in onu joker gibi kullanmas\u0131 o bireyde elbette de ba\u011flant\u0131 bozuklu\u011fu \u00fcretir. Benim g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u015fu ki anababalar\u0131n bir\u00e7o\u011fu \u00e7o\u00e7uklar\u0131na gereken kaliteli sevgiyi ve birbirine kar\u015f\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ba\u011flanma duygusunu verememi\u015f olmas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Ne aileler g\u00f6rd\u00fcm d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya kar\u015f\u0131 bir aile gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fcklerini ama i\u00e7te ise tamamen despotlu\u011fun ve diktat\u00f6rl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn esti\u011fini. Ya \u00e7o\u00e7uk s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fundan dolay\u0131 \u00e7ok \u015f\u0131mar\u0131k olmu\u015f ya da a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 dengesiz ve sa\u011fl\u0131k d\u0131\u015f\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlara bo\u011fularak aile i\u00e7erisinde “Ya\u015far, ne ya\u015famaz ne ya\u015famaz“ hale gelmi\u015f. \u00c7o\u00e7uklar – ruhen – ba\u015f\u0131bo\u015f b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in ve bak\u0131ms\u0131z kald\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in sefalet i\u00e7erisinde ya\u015f\u0131yorlar. Anababa \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fa sevgi nas\u0131l verilir, sayg\u0131 nas\u0131l \u00f6\u011fretilir, adaletin anlam\u0131 nedir filan e\u011fitmedikleri i\u00e7in, o \u00e7o\u00e7uklar da t\u0131pk\u0131 tarlalardaki otlar gibi sahipsiz yeti\u015firler.
<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Kendimden biliyorum ben, \u00e7ok y\u0131llar \u00f6nce narsist bir ailenin i\u00e7ine do\u011fmu\u015f oldu\u011fumu ve ben bir ayl\u0131kken anneanneme g\u00f6nderilerek annemden 4 y\u0131l boyunca ana temel ba\u011flar\u0131m\u0131n tamamen kopar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131n\u0131. Bu y\u00fczdende i\u015fte – \u00f6nceleri bilin\u00e7d\u0131\u015f\u0131 olarak sonradan da bilin\u00e7li olarak ben – annemi hi\u00e7bir zaman ger\u00e7ekten anne gibi alg\u0131lamam\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fumu. Nas\u0131l olacak bu i\u015f ki?!, bir \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fun en ba\u015ftan sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 aile ba\u011flar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7selle\u015ftirmesini sa\u011flamazsan – ki bu bir \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fun tamamen temel ihtiyac\u0131d\u0131r! – o \u00e7o\u00e7uktan sen art\u0131k evlatl\u0131k bekleme, bu imkans\u0131zd\u0131r. \u015eimdi bu yaz\u0131y\u0131 okuyanlar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordurlar etraflar\u0131nda kimbilir ka\u00e7 \u00e7o\u00e7uk b\u00f6yle birilerine devredilmi\u015ftir ve i\u015fin en ac\u0131 y\u00f6n\u00fc ise bunu ebeveynlerin \u00e7ok normal bir meseleymi\u015f gibi ge\u00e7i\u015ftirmelerini. <\/span><\/p>\n\n

A\u00e7\u0131k ve net, b\u00f6yle bir narsistik hareketi her kim yapm\u0131\u015fsa bu dev bir insan haklar\u0131 ihlalidir!, ve de sak\u0131n ha anababay\u0131m diye ge\u00e7inmesin! Sen o \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fun elinden ileriki hayat\u0131nda mutlu olabilme potansiyelini \u00e7ald\u0131n! Kim verdi sana bu hakk\u0131?!?! Sen emanete nas\u0131l ihanet edersin ve ne hakla? O \u00e7o\u00e7uk ba\u015f\u0131bo\u015f do\u011fmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r!, o \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fun mutlak sahibi Allah’t\u0131r!<\/span><\/p>\n\n

\u0130\u015fte i\u00e7imdeki bu tamamen ruhen ba\u015f\u0131bo\u015f b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve ba\u015ftan savu\u015fturulmu\u015flu\u011fum beni hayat\u0131m\u0131n d\u00f6n\u00fcm noktas\u0131na itti: Ben “y\u0131llard\u0131r mutlu bir aile nas\u0131l olunur?“ ile hep ilgilendim. Hayat\u0131m bu ana kadar hep bu sorunun ve de sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 cevaplar\u0131n\u0131n – hemde d\u00fcnya \u00e7ap\u0131nda! – d\u00f6nd\u00fc durdu ve halen de d\u00f6nmekte. Her\u015feyi ve herkesi sorgulayan birisi oldum, bana dayat\u0131lan zul\u00fcmlere kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m, onlar\u0131n sap\u0131k\u00e7a ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ve toplumun y\u00fcz karas\u0131 olu\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli ve habire her yerlerde irdeliyor ve belirtiyorum.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Gelelim narsist ailenin \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011funa ve savunma mekanizmalar\u0131na: Bu \u00e7o\u00e7u\u011fun ruhi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131lanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in veya atalar\u0131ndan genetik olarak devralm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu narsizm onu narsizme kilitledi\u011fi i\u00e7in onun ruhuda bir t\u00fcr savunma mekanizmalar\u0131 olu\u015fturur. Narsistlerde\/psikopatlarda bulunan baz\u0131 semptomlar ki\u015finin kendisini etraftan\/etraf\u0131ndakilerden korumas\u0131 i\u00e7in zihinsel \u00fcretilmi\u015f ve uygulamaya ge\u00e7i\u015f yapm\u0131\u015f mekanizmalard\u0131r. Ne var ki narsist yap\u0131ya “iyi“ gelen savunma mekanizmalar\u0131 etraf\u0131ndaki bulunan herkesi\/toplumu\/bilin\u00e7i fitne gibi keskin bir \u015fekilde ikiye b\u00f6lebiliyor. Esasen bu olay narsistin en derinlerinden gelen “olanlara dayanam\u0131yorum art\u0131k“ \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Allah’\u0131ma sonsuzca te\u015fekk\u00fcrler ederim ki ben narsistik bir ailede\/s\u00fclalede yeti\u015ftim ama daima Allah taraf\u0131ndan onlardan hep korundum, yoksa bende onlar gibi olurdum. Bu da zaten y\u00fcce Yaratan’\u0131n insana bah\u015fetmi\u015f oldu\u011fu dev ve sonsuz bir mucizesi ve de o ki\u015fiye nail etmi\u015f oldu\u011fu kaderidir.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n

B\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fck \u015fu ya da bu olmak de\u011fil, kendin olmakt\u0131r. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Soren Kierkegaard <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n

20.08.22<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ki\u015fi ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015far ve zanneder ki “ben bu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m toplum taraf\u0131ndan seviliyorum, benimseniyorum“ oysaki e\u011fer ki bir narsistik sistemin i\u00e7ine do\u011fduysan, narsist sevgi …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":56,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narsizm-olusum-temelinde-yatanlar-ve-beraberinde-getirdigi-hastaliklar-i"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",1920,1279,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-768x768.jpg",768,768,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-1024x1024.jpg",1024,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-1536x1023.jpg",1536,1023,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",1920,1279,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-280x180.jpg",280,180,true],"bravada-featured":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",450,300,false],"bravada-featured-lp":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",450,300,false],"bravada-featured-half":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",450,300,false],"bravada-featured-third":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",450,300,false],"bravada-lpbox-1":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",525,350,false],"bravada-lpbox-2":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg.jpg",450,300,false],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Afrika-zion-national-park-Wasserfall-im-Berg-100x100.jpg",100,100,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"elmas","author_link":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/author\/elmas2\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ki\u015fi ili\u015fki ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015far ve zanneder ki “ben bu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m toplum taraf\u0131ndan seviliyorum, benimseniyorum“ oysaki e\u011fer ki bir narsistik sistemin i\u00e7ine do\u011fduysan, narsist sevgi …","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/329","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=329"}],"version-history":[{"count":48,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2685,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/329\/revisions\/2685"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/56"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eeelmas.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}